Productive Vibes, not Producing Results
People hate being handwaived away as if their problems, views, and values are not serious. I've seen it many times, and lately I've seen long-fizzing conflicts bubble over into disasters.
I had a conversation recently with members of large midwest-based membership-driven organization who had some conflicts over the past year. In a recent meeting, they told their members "We hear you, and before we act we need more data." These members were encouraged, so took the leaders up on their offer and did just that - collected an extremely robust dataset that showed who their customers were, who they called their audience but weren't delivering value to, and a plan to address it.
The organization leadership reviewed it and said "Ok - now what's the plan?" Crickets. They hadn't even read the data they requested and, understandably, the members were pissed. Also emblematic of how a good conversation is a snapshot, while resolved conflict requires something more.
The plan on how to move forward is a guide, so here are 6 questions to tell the difference between conflict resolution and relief:
Who is being told their voice doesn't matter?
What problems are being tamped down for the sake of "peace?"
When the conversation approaches sensitive topics, is there an effort to steer away from those areas or towards them?
When there's a disconnect, who speaks first?
When someone reacts negatively, how does the rest of the group react?
What issues do leaders refuse to engage on, but is whispered about by everyone else?
Worksheet for reviewing how your org handles conflict and what (intentional or unintentional) patterns your groups are dealing with.
These are some of the questions we ask in our Conflict-as-a-Service engagements. Dunham Listens is not interested in brushing your problems under the rug, and that's why we get brought in.
Let us know if there's challenges your org or team can't seem to get past.